Not being a perfectionist
I’ve been pondering recently on the degree to which I’ve changed as I’ve grown older. There are a lot of advantages in being older – when I remember the acute embarrassment I felt constantly as a young woman I can only be glad I’m over it. Have my Myers Briggs personality and Belbin roles changed? The answer is yes.
One of the things I’ve always considered myself is a bit of a perfectionist. Which has made it difficult at times – a perfectionist without the time to be tidy is a miserable being! But now I’m able to give myself permission to be less perfect. Some things are more important than others, and deserve the best attention and effort, but others can be left done just well enough and no more.
That strive for perfectionism takes time and effort and can be exhausting. It’s often worth it. Being asked to carry out a series of interviews at work to find out exactly what staff think of Moodle is well worth doing. The results can really impact on the roadmap for the system going forward. I’ve put a lot of energy into that last month. Cleaning off my desk at the end of the day? No-one else does in our office: we tend to deal in digital rather than paper-based information so it’s never that bad. So I put in just enough effort on that to remove the distractions and provide an environment calm enough to work in. Just as good as I need it to be,
At home I keep up with the laundry: I’m not going to compromise on that, but I do as little ironing as I can get away with. And I’ve never been bothered by a draining board full of drying dishes – it’s one of the few household chores that does itself! But it did take a long time and a lot of effort to redesign our kitchen, and the fitter had to move the cooker hood four times, because the kitchen is a space in which we spend a lot of time, and it needs to be as near perfect as possible; functional AND beautiful.
So I’m going to forgive myself if things aren’t perfect, and concentrate on the important things that are worth spending time on. And most of all, that’s the people around me. Trying to come to terms with the fact that however hard you try you can’t make other people’s lives perfect – well, that’s my latest challenge! Perfectionism is maybe one of those things I simply have to lay aside at this stage. Anyone for “just good enough”?
