I found there was a need to hold myself open to receive all that it is possible to learn.

I sat for hours in seminars at ancient abbeys, underwent retreats where many people sit together in silence and retreats with very few people whose fervent discussions seemed to alter my perceptions of the outside world.

My mentor sent me hither and thither to learn from many disciplines, and I learned all I could. I learned about techniques of prayer and of meditation. I was told that to truly find myself I must first lose myself — I must learn how to encourage the silence of waiting.

And once I have found my true self, they said, I will be able to remake myself in the image of a perfect being. But the search might take me all my life, they warned me...

© 1999 Helen Whitehead