I came in innocence, determined only to embark upon a voyage of self-discovery. I tried to be open with myself and with those I met along the way. I felt that I was a morass of conflicting feelings and desires, that there were thoughts, behaviours and attitudes hanging over from the past which were preventing me from gaining true fulfillment.

I never felt completely happy, I never felt completely comfortable.  I plunged into depression occasionally with little warning and less reason that I could see. I sometimes felt great highs, usually when I went to a certain kind of tranquil place. I began to realise that perhaps such places — where nature shows her loveliest face — were nearer to the supreme being, the creator, the mother goddess. They were nearer to some higher power of whose existence I was becoming dimly aware, whose form I discerned even less clearly, but whose intentions for me I wished to discover. I sought help from those who might aid me in this quest.





© 1999 Helen Whitehead