We are the very model of a modern university
We come from many disciplines and represent diversity
We know the kings of England, and we order books historical
And digital resources, too, in order categorical
We’re very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
We understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
We teach and offer services financial and professional
About our student outcomes we are more or less obsessional
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We’re very good at teaching and supporting learners earnestly
Yet due to UUK and their new pension scheme perversity
We face retirement poverty and monet’ry adversity
We are the very model of a modern university
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We spend our time in labs elucidating vital science
Yet today we’re here on picket lines expressing our defiance
Now you’d think the brightest minds deserve the best in actuarial
But when I see the calculations they just make me very ill
We’ve come from health and geography, the arts and sociology
The least that USS can do is offer an apology
To researchers and admin staff, to IT and careers folk
It seems that UUK see us as little more than just a joke
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You’d think that our hard work would earn us thanks and good intentions
But it seems our dedication now is hardly worth a mention, so
We face retirement poverty and monet’ry adversity
What IS the very model of a modern university?