We are the very model of a modern university

We are the very model of a modern university

We come from many disciplines and represent diversity

We know the kings of England, and we order books historical

And digital resources, too, in order categorical

We’re very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,

We understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,

We teach and offer services financial and professional

About our student outcomes we are more or less obsessional

 

We’re very good at teaching and supporting learners earnestly

Yet due to UUK and their new pension scheme perversity

We face retirement poverty and monet’ry adversity

We are the very model of a modern university

 

We spend our time in labs elucidating vital science

Yet today we’re here on picket lines expressing our defiance

Now you’d think the brightest minds deserve the best in actuarial

But when I see the calculations they just make me very ill

We’ve come from health and geography, the arts and sociology

The least that USS can do is offer an apology

To researchers and admin staff, to IT and careers folk

It seems that UUK see us as little more than just a joke

 

You’d think that our hard work would earn us thanks and good intentions

But it seems our dedication now is hardly worth a mention, so

We face retirement poverty and monet’ry adversity

What IS the very model of a modern university?

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